Forever. Yours.

2012-01-31T14:02:00.003+02:00

now that my strength has so run out, your strength will take over.

the most exciting thing about life is not the work you do, but the fact that He loves you.

Discovering His love, i look forward every day, treasure every moment

2012-01-28T16:06:00.003+02:00

noisy. :S

:S:S:S

... deliver and pull through for me lord. i seriously have no confidence in what i am doing.

the woman at the well

2012-01-25T15:36:00.006+02:00

sometimes i don't know what is it
i have to hide
why do I so often
listen to this pride

have i not understood
the cross of Christ
It is in the weakness I dared not face
where I understood this grace

He've taken away
every shame,
every guilt and every chain,
there in those weaknesses and the shame
(I boast in) there's a God who overcame

(just like) remember the woman at the well
running in eagerness to tell
the goodness of Jesus
how He've forgiven
How He've made this life
anew

nothing to prove
nothing to hide
simply a love,
this God i can't deny

just like the woman at the well
running in eagerness to tell
the love of my savior
He is Messiah
if you meet Him you will know...

This is not about what you've done.

2012-01-23T12:57:00.005+02:00

"I've come to understand that doing ministry is not so much about me helping God to advance the Kingdom,but for God to help me see who He is and how He can bring me through an amazing journey of knowing His power and wisdom. " ...Quoted this from this navigator's newsletter. When this staff was injured (badly :S) and forced to rest, the ministry grew more than ever. So that he may know that the hand who is at work is evidently God.

You hear stories after stories, that it is when you are at the weakest, God can use you most. Therefore we boast in our weakness, says Paul. ( i think its Paul :P)

Then check out this post:
http://www.theblazingcenter.com/2009/08/humble-yet-sort-ofhumble.html

At the core of it, our life and ministry is not about what we can do for God, but what God can do for us. This is a principle which I thought is really important. For I have not accomplished much when I 'think' I want to do something great for God, but it is always when I didn't know what to expect that God shows up and do something great for me. But then if let's say I expect and keep expecting God to do something, would that not bring greater accomplishments because I am fixing my attention on the right thing? Hmm...

It seemed rather conflicting though, for the faith which God demands is a God-centered faith, and not a self-centered one. It shouldn't be looking at God doing this this this and that that that for me. Yet it is about what God can do for us? That is why the quote from the navigators newsletter above is now helpful.

It is about God helping us to see Him. His power, His glory, His might.

"Who am I, O Lord God, and what is my house, that you have brought me thus far? … Because of your promise, and according to your own heart, you have brought about all this greatness, to make your servant know it. "

That is the bestest thing He can do for us mankind. And it is sheer grace that He would reveal who He is to us... and how many times have I been so humbled and wowed when He came through and deliver in His kingly manner and display a greatness unknown and unheard of. Arhhhhh !!!...yea it is Him (: And yes that would be a God-centered faith, because the attention channeled, at the end of the day, is to Him who is able.

To God be all the glory! (:

but what's been done for you~

2012-01-20T16:19:00.001+02:00

opps. have totally not factored in CNY in the planning at all. hmmm... and only realising it now.

I'm thankful God is in control, so He'll take care. despite my terribleness. :)

yay happy CNY. its 2012 already. How surreal.

Agenda

2012-01-15T15:58:00.003+02:00

God is a very purposeful God, with purposes written in every little detail. So He always has agenda? Yea. Kinda. Totally.

Its not the "I save you I want to convert you" agenda.

It is a "I love you I want to be with you" commitment.

I have so much to learn from His love. I have so much to learn on what 'faith' really means, looking at my ever faithful God.

这一生最美的祝福，就是能认识主耶稣。

2012-01-15T15:30:00.001+02:00

A wedding with no extra extravagance. Down-to-earth, yet 贴心. This contentment in simplicity is rather inspiring. :)

Blessings. (:

Friday Thirteen

2012-01-13T15:04:00.001+02:00

today is friday, thirteen. Can I say something?

Superstitions are ALL lies. :D Thankfully :)

And you shall know the truth and the truth will set you free. Yep. Coming to the knowledge of biblical truth has been a liberation in many ways. Its a liberation from the fear of superstitions, its a liberation from the fear of 'ghosts' even. There's no need to fear. I am a child of God *proud*

As I said, superstitions are all lies. There's no need to fear that bad luck will fall on you just because..eh... a black cat walked over. I know that God is the ultimate author and creator of everything. He is ALWAYS in control. So He is the one who is in control of everything that happens to you. And we have a good who works ALL things for good for those who love Him? Even when bad things happened, God has His ways of bringing good out of it. If we trust Him, we learn to bless and not to curse. Jesus have lifted the curse of sin on us on the cross.

There is no need to do certain things to gain luck either, really. When you walk with God you learn to give up what used to be important to you, and you learn to live for what is important to Him. And if your purpose is , always, for a God who is in control of everything, why is there a need for 'luck'? Why would God not be your aid for to bring Him glory? Though He works in ways we cannot understand, we know that this is a God who loves and blesses, and this is the God by which I stand and pledge allegiance to :)

There is no need to fear spirits. Every evil spirit trembles at His name. Know the name of 'Jesus'. The power contained in this name is more than what we can ever imagine. Spiritual warfare is about prayer and it is about worship. Steal not the glory away from God. Let your understanding of who He is deepen. And when we could come to understand even just a glimpse of who God is, it is impossible not to worship Him.

I see... I know... Christians being superstitious and all...I guess they are just not fully comprehending what Christ has done for them. I am a child of God. I have so much authority in Christ! I bind the powers of darkness in His name. That is the authority I should exercise, that is the authority we should exercise, servants of God's kingdom?

I pray for my brothers and sisters in Christ to shine His light, not by our own strength but His. If we don't shine His light and live in liberation, how can others be drawn to seek this light that exist?

Actually I can only really preach this here. Its not like when people start talking about ghost and superstitions I can come in and preach of God's truth. I don't know how to.

2012-01-12T14:37:00.001+02:00

the seed of envy is embedded in insecurity. so we should clear the soil of insecurity so that envy does not take root. so well, then the only way one can be secure is being 'in Christ' right? He is the only perfect wholeness security we can ever have? and that means you need to have faith to be 'in Christ' and to be in this security.

and faith comes from hearing the word of God.

So then we need to go back to the word of God. that we may grow in faith. and we grow in faith in Christ. And we are secure in who we are as children of God. then can we root out envy?

Ho... well... TYS-ly speaking yes :)

anyways at TL yesterday, thought josephine was inspiring. in the sense that, its so rare to see a single at this age so secure in Christ. But that's the way right?

righteousness

2012-01-12T14:31:00.000+02:00

How far from you I am?
How far from holiness?
Help me to see my own
Unrighteousness

for man have sinned and fallen short of your glory
and nothing but the blood of Jesus
can make me clean

How far from you I am?
How far from holiness?
Cleanse me from my own
Unrighteousness

When nothing else could reconcile
You took it all upon yourself
Nothing but the blood of Jesus
can make me clean.

How sweet can intimacy be?
You call me blameless
Jesus,
my righteousness
my savior

I hear you

2012-01-12T14:19:00.003+02:00

*God hears
God hears
its a wonder
how He answers
when I call*

Amazing grace
unbelievable
He knows my desires
every spoken
unspoken
what tenderness
what providence
He is never more present
than when He seemed
most silent

in the most surprising manner
He will show up in the picture
in the most humorous fashion
He will come through and deliver
often with a lesson to learn ;)

2012-01-09T15:07:00.001+02:00

i need to return sy's book. you know there is this story. of someone. a tyrant. one day he walked into church. thinking of playing a joke on the pastor. but there the spirit convicted him of his sins. and he was the first to rush to the front at altar call. When i read i was like. whoa.

another touching scene was when he met someone whose family members. were deeply hurt. and. he used to be those tyrants ... he was struck by the hurt he have caused in the past. The grief that deeply overwhelmed, and the gratitude that comes with understanding of forgiveness and mercy. It was a rather touching read.

the vilest offender who truly believes, that moment from jesus a pardon receives

(this line from this song always makes me marvel at grace)

And well, you know his wife married him out of fear more than anything. (its scary to think of how the societies of some people living in are) So really thank God this husband came to Christ and became totally transformed. From there on she fell in love with him, the new him. So drama, but this is a true story.

the husband died (i can't remember details, I think he was killed by his past tyrant gang ...and he did not leave the house without his gospel tracts and his bible) . Then his wife, when asked if she needs anything, requested for bibles to be distributed. that she may carry on what this former tyrant has committed his life to after knowing Christ. She wanted to carry on distributing bibles to the very people who have killed her husband.

the person who penned this account of this couple put it this way: those who have been forgiven much, forgives much.

just penning it here. who knows. one day it may encourage me again :)

Friend

2012-01-09T14:44:00.003+02:00

... If I am a guy, I will sure make Janice my wife! Well i'm not, hee anyways the words following this picture post should be... thank God for blessing me with such a friend, a dg-mate, a sister-in-christ, a role model. I realise its not so easy to find people whom you can fellowship deeply with. And as we move on in our different stages of life, that is something I treasure. May we continue to grow together in our awe and wonder of who God is (:

i bought 2 dresses for Janice. she bought 2 dresses for me. that is kind of funny.

you have to really credit kay for the ingenuity of the card. Note the different cakes too.

and for the people who have put this celebration together, after another year. i thank God (:

2012-01-07T15:39:00.000+02:00

Lf's wedding. So old-school themed :)) I love the wedding car! How nice to have a couple going sticking together since JC.

This is your number what wedding?
hmmm... i've lost count.

Something in me

2012-01-06T17:57:00.004+02:00

Something in me, is sighing
over things that you give
but not to me.
She seems to have it
I just don't get it.
Something in me, called envy.

Something in me, is striving.
Why does no one looks at me?
I too, can do it.
Let me just prove it.
Something in me, called envy.

Something in me, is crying,
It is hurting, from deep within
over this trying, over this hiding,
over this winning and losing
over this fighting, over this giving,
over this loving and hating

over this barrier of you reaching me
There is something in me, called envy~

Something in me, is dying
when envy is winning, i am just losing...

*
My child, you have my victory
I have come that you may be living
you don't have to prove it
i have all done it
come to the Father and be free

look beyond your insecurities
there is something in you, that's worthy

Gifts lessons

2012-01-03T16:06:00.001+02:00

There's lessons in Christmas gifts. Hee. These 3 tins were about to be thrown away some time back. Maybe August? I can't remember. At the point it felt like such a pity. Somehow I had a flash of this picture of the tins being covered with wrapping paper and be used again. Christmas gift lo.

So there is the above. Just nice there's 3 people for the thanksgiving committee. (Ivan and Chin Ai are one entity) Just nice they are all healthy eaters so 'healthier choice' brand nuts is the choice.

What is the lesson here? To see the value in what one would easily pass off as trash :)

At least... their value was extended for another use. Next time I would probably throw them away straight though. hahha. a bit bothersome to keep.

Its a little, maybe not just a little, amazing that I have just nice 12 photoframes leftover from thanksgiving. The photo had 13 people. I was the 13th. This is really... really is anything co-incidental? God has been good yea? It just felt like his little encouragement after I have been so unable at inviting for thanksgiving. But lets not look at me and lets learn to look at God and proclaim that with God all things are possible.

2012-01-03T15:13:00.003+02:00

my cell prayer chain is not working. r u disappointed? no. it is expected. opps.

There's less opportunities as a working adult it feels. Though you seem to have more resources. Giving is the little i can do for the great commission.

time is eternity

2012-01-01T14:10:00.000+02:00

I love this clock! For those who love, time is eternity. May 2012 be a year of deep fellowship and sweet intimacy with Jesus (: I'm counting on God!

An Inspiring Christmas Dinner

2012-01-01T13:29:00.001+02:00

Ivan and Chin Ai's house is so so inspiring. You take that common lift. You knock on a common door of that common HDB-flat. Then tadah! Greeted by such an uncommon homely cottage feel. Whee :D

Pictures could not conjure up that mood or atmosphere. That sweet little cottage homely feel :)) Then there was the aroma of baked chicken :)) And the sweet love shared by the couple :))

This is really a wonderful kitchen to cook in though it is sooooooo small.

Super Kawaii dessert. More love from the host :))

I'm so honored to celebrate my birthday here. It kinds of complete the night, after a session of inspiring sharings by very inspiring people :)) Haha i forgot something very important so can't smile properly :PP

I was a happy tourist snapping shots of a museum. Everything is so exquisitely furnished, that is Very inspiring somewhat. I love it that the theme is so 贯穿. Its so aesthetically pleasing with little cottage-themed ornaments everywhere (:

Ivan helpfully prompted to think of a theme you want. Hmmm... maybe that is a good suggestion! Hee (:

reflections on the past year.

2012-01-01T11:00:00.000+02:00

It's the new year again!

2011 has been an amazing year :) Starting with 'In the Highest'. Co-incidently I was walking on some height and so it was a time where i was 'very high'. Haha. Those months were really God's pouring of blessing upon me, spiritually and otherwise. Then well 'Good Friday'. Just before the start of my peak at work. And for the first time in my life, I saw things flowing and being accomplished, and God is so faithful in His deliverance. I saw the love of Christ shown to me through a very good boss. I saw favor and I saw grace. I saw stress beyond my threshold level... so that was all well and 'very high'. Invited to a church camp which was all very odd but it was a timely break ... a needed spiritual feeding :) Then well there was 'playmax'. Funny to be back again two years later and see so much improvements. God has answered my prayers once again and I realised serving is really about dependence, I guess. idmc came at a nice before-peak period too, which is just good how things fall in place and I had time to go for excel certification. Glory to God :) He provided company :) Then came another rise and the stress level increased as every calls me boss (which i seriously dislike) and well, God says 'to love', for which I am still learning, what does it mean to love in the marketplace . Still God taught me dependence. aye... And there after came thanksgiving for which I saw once again how He came in and how He was so with me even in the simple buying of gift-wrapper :)) Once again, ministry is about dependence. And He brought me back to rfkc again, after 2 years too... hee. Strength unknown, He has provided.

Dependence brings deliverance. I am beginning to understand. I could have done many things better. And I hate myself for many things. I see only weaknesses. God says to love God with all my heart, all my strength, and all my mind, and that's all He called me to do. Why am I looking so much at myself? The focus is on Him. But its a struggle to put down self.

Only after 'trying to reflect' did I realise how things fall in place so nicely. Hmmm wow.

This is a year God speaks mostly on this word. Purpose. He also convicts in me, while I was not doing anything, that ambition = Christ-likeness. I can't remember what I was doing anyway but I was suddenly very convicted. Putting things together, its about letting go, of that pride and reliance on my own strength, but to serve with dependence on His. I needed so much to prove that I am able somehow. He blesses me with grace. He blesses me with favor. So much that glory can only be unto Him.

So felicia can you see yourself living a life for His purpose? I don't know. Lead me please.

My new year resolution is to be more organised. Its a kinda lame resolution and I know I would have trouble keeping it. Sigh. What faith.

happy birthday (:

2011-12-29T13:48:00.000+02:00

2011-12-28T15:05:00.002+02:00

ok one last post. I am going to be 24 tomorrow. Yay :D

Hmmm.. well .. eh... erm.... its another year. So I am 24. always very confused about my age. I dun look or act 24.

Well, I can say... erm... it is a great blessing to come to christ while I'm still a youth :) I have so much more years for my soul to live and breathe with Jesus :)

That time some pastor (ok it was pastor clarence) looked at me and say, 'young as you are, God is going to use you mightily'. It was after the new believers class and you see... I was a new believer... so I almost wanted to say but of course I wouldn't that.. 'who says I want to be used? ' But that was honestly sincerely proudly what I was saying in my heart ... I know God hears it and I am proud ha :D

Yea and so look at me today, humbled before the knowledge of the truth of the cross, crying for God to use me. I'm so thankful, that this is a life that has been changed by the gospel. And one day I'll be, complete, in Him.

The years ahead, i simply, want to, blossom and bloom into who He created me to be :) and to live out the dreams He have for me. His wonderful plans :) that I may have a part to play in His kingdom work ... as His darling princess :)

by the way, i have 3 cakes, a doraemon cake! a strawberry cake with the cell december girls, and a christmas log cake at a very inspiring house... ah i haven't blog about it ...

I'm thankful for the love of christ shown to me through the people He place around me (: its been a year of great bountiful blessing! thank you father.

2011-12-28T14:38:00.001+02:00

I heard of this sharing of someone who was handling many (hundreds?) invoices. He's those accountancy graduate lah. And he was wondering, why do I have to do this? Oh he was on stint in crusade before, so he was asking, why do I have to do this? I could be out doing E & D (serving God) ... (yea i knowww)

Then the verse which goes something like 'do everything unto the Lord with all your heart' struck Him. And He realised, (must be the spirit speaking) that if he commit every of his invoices to the Lord, every of his invoice would be Holy invoices.

WOW. *clap hands*

Inspiring. Difficult but inspiring. What is true worship?

2011-12-28T14:23:00.002+02:00

I am suddenly very reminded again of this episode where I decided I was going to fast from chocolate for one month. Exams were coming so well I think it was to fast until after exams end I think. Ha well what got me to fast from this was ... a burdened heart... I looked at God and I felt... prayer might not be enough I don't know... I seem to need to do something more. So I decided I'll fast from chocolate. Chocolate was the immediate choice of fast because.... while I was on exchange the chocolate in finland was so good... it was a major distraction in my QT.... and well... i know it :D

Then hohaha came the very funny thing. I was caught in between two birthday celebrations going on and I have 2 chocolate cakes at the same time and it felt so rude to reject both birthday girls & the people who bought their cake :S They must think I am a bit wierd. (i know i am :D) And well it was two dg birthday celebrations, so you can imagine the amount of cakes left over from ...girls. It felt so wasteful. Good thing I've learnt now that, the best expression of stewardship, is obedience (: Then soon after it was another birthday celebration of another November baby and it was another chocolate cake! And again I had to reject the birthday girl... and I could not give a reason why.

Its really amusing now I think about it. God is amusing as He is amazing. What kind of co-incidence is that?

I didn't expect much actually. Its just..how should I put it...its like a 'greater expression of hunger in prayer' to God. Did God bring in a miracle? He kind of did leh, after some some time. Yea. He did. Ha wow.

Though I'm fasting again, on something very small and stupid, but its my expression hee... because... hmmm oh well... why not? Fasting with the right heart will never do you harm and it will be another experience with dear God (: I'm not praying so much now cos I'm not really in touch with the people who He have placed a burden in me then. The love that He can place in you is amazing, and you know its not from you...But I'm sorry there's really not much I can do now. I pray for blessings.

More than

2011-12-21T15:47:00.000+02:00

I love You Lord
More than stars up in the sky
More than questions asking why
I love You my Lord

I love You Lord
More than person place or thing
More than happiness they bring
I love You my Lord
I love You

I give to You
my honest deep devotion
And I put You first
above all cares of life
Lord I know
that You’re a jealous God
So I won’t play with Your heart
More than life itself my Lord
I love You

I love You Lord
and I put You before all
In my life You stand most tall
I love You my Lord

I love You Lord
In my heart You’re number One
Now I’m sure this place You’ve won
I love You my Lord

More than life itself my Lord
I love You
More than life itself my Lord
More than life itself my Lord
More than life itself my Lord
I love You

Wow. thank God Hee ...

2011-12-19T11:46:00.001+02:00

I am very very thankful for the extra cash yes. I need it. I need my offset balance too .. and its not approved yet ... oh well ... it will be and well... you know i know we know I am not that wow haha but God's grace I embrace with joy and gratitude and I pray that I'd be a good steward of what He has placed in my hands and well may I continue to be 'be amazed and be in awe at what you are going to do'... I want to see Your hand at work ... ohhh... i ... see :D

that day I was tired and resting after my christmas shopping...and I am afraid that I am spending a bit too much ...

Well well... He says i'm a princess. Then live as one and bless in His capacity.

thank you my king... hee

December Cheers!

2011-12-18T13:14:00.001+02:00

I love it that there is this holiday mood in december :D NOt forgetting, two very very important dates are coming! :))

2011-12-18T11:53:00.000+02:00

i sent out my support raising letter , finally! Got to do my part...

then I can leave the rest in Your hands ... gladly hee

2011-12-14T16:19:00.004+02:00

2011 has been so amazing. Hee. Think about it...every year after I've met Christ in 2006 has been amazing. It just gets better and better.

Hmmm... I pray for the fire of a new Christian, I pray for the fire of that first love, to always be with me... as I see myself maturing in Him...

I don't deserve to have met you. I have no right to demand of anything as such. So I thank You.

But because of grace,
because of Your mercy
I stand here unashamed

Love is in the Cross of Christ

2011-12-13T17:18:00.000+02:00

There is an unspoken joy
in a love that gives itself away
just as the love that was poured
out for us
so freely
every drop

There is an unspoken strength
in a love that bears all things
just as the love that has bore for us
every sin
every curse
every trial

Grant me hands that carry the cross of Christ
grant me feet that bring forth the good news of Jesus
let love be spoken
let love be given
let glory shine forth through this heart

Grant me hands that carry the cross of Christ
grant me feet that bring forth the good news of Jesus
love is in the spoken
love is in the given
love is in the cross of Christ

Hide your servant behind the cross
Its no longer I who lived but Christ lives in me
I live to know you and make you known
Once again... I stand in awe....

2011-12-11T15:00:00.001+02:00

In the midst of everything He put this together too. I was praying...

I am thankful (:

rfkc

2011-12-11T14:52:00.004+02:00

I went to camp with these thoughts in mind. Father, I want to avail myself, my time... just hope that You'll do something good with it. ... I will be happy with whatever they put me in ... I just wanted to be there... help in whatever small ways...

Then I got the call and I realised they put me as a counselor. Huh? Oh well... I thought... its ok, by His grace (and only by His grace), I will be a blessing. It felt a bit rush because I was still trying to put things together for thanksgiving, to avail my time (i mean sleep) for lq's wedding , and then there's work ... So sigh it was pretty stressful and I can't say i'm totally not complaining...and i don't feel prepared... I thought about the background of the kids, and the main thought that i kept thinking about is that, you can give many many things, but the one gift they truly need ... is ...what else? Jesus. Of cos. So I prayed that God will prepare their hearts to receive Him. But the preparation felt rushed and i can't say my heart was still, or that I'm not afraid.

Then it felt like a whirlwind churned around me, and the camp was over. Whoa. Through the camp i am truly thankful for Him giving me this opportunity to serve, I'm glad and I needed to put faith into action. I'm thankful for this experience (and every other experience) that God writes into my life. I'm thankful for so much help that was rendered, because I really could not make it by myself.

I saw that God has His purpose in the various little 'occurances' ... I believe so... and it is rather interesting to observe it. As I wrote, " God is the light in the dark... God will be there to catch you when you fall... and God is the one who will always be by your side..." I felt that all the occurances were there perhaps to woo my happy camper and speak to her her need for Him. At evaluation, my happy camper popped that she learned that... "God is always by my side" in that childlike straightforth manner.... I was stunned. And I'm glad. Ha. I saw my weaknesses too. very much. I didn't know how to split myself and I think I am rather boring ... and I guess I really got lots to work on. But at least I could pray that God will work out everything and He could work out His purposes in everything. :) My bunkmate said I was very calm (and she's learning from me). Ohh... hmmm... I thought... God... in His very funny way... has prepared me. Whoa thank God...! But actually I was so stone I couldn't have made it without her... and many many other people ahh

I came back, once again, with that quiet unspeakable joy in Him. whoa. I prayed that He would work His transformation in me too thru this camp. Hmmm... I am not sure what have He done, but in some ways my spirit felt a bit 'tamed' haha... and I believed I've learnt much that would continue to carry me through this journey of seeking His glory :)) At the end of the day, I want to be that servant who would gladly ... carry His cross. Not a convenient and sweet agar agar jelly cross. But a strong sure steel-made cross that is a sure bridge over the great divide. And He will grant me strength to carry His cross ya?

I went back to prais the next day... surprisingly I am not as tired as I thought I would be. I thought I would have proclaimed "I survived a survivor camp"... but that was really not the case. I actually enjoyed very much :D Though I'm not ready to get back to work ... at least... physically I'm ok. Which is.. God's grace Ha. I'm so thankful everyday for the strength and health that have been there to sustain.

Another amazing thing that I would not forget, is... the weather. It did not rain at all at our campsite while it was raining throughout Singapore! (yes I am tanned). But its so totally God answers prayers and I am so amazed whee :D Thank God and Praise God!

On another note, I was watching my sweet camper killing the spider on her bunk. I can't really help her cos she's on the top bunk... but anyways she's doing real fine. So well just now I looked at the spider at my desk wall and I realised its not that scary is it? So my point is... Yess you really learn a lot more from the kids than the kids learn from you!

its quite an eye opener to the glimpse of parenthood. Ha!

that's all I can think of to jot down here for now. I'd be praying :D

I'ts about you
It's about me
It's about the truth that sets us free
It's about L-O-V-E <3
from the father up above.

Fixated. On You.

2011-12-01T16:08:00.001+02:00

The three wise man would not have regretted the long travels nor the harsh cold nights. Seeing that glimpse of God in flesh, is worth it. Its worth everything :) What an honor and privilege to be part of this night divine!

And spirit be my guiding star I pray, may my heart be fixated on Christ, as I set out on this journey, to meet you face-to-face.

2011-12-01T15:52:00.000+02:00

I do have a thanksgiving. Ha.

When I was forced to kinda go on MC... I realised that this heart was unsettled about many many things... it just didn't feel right ...to leave work lying alone. One of the things that was unsettled was the simple hiring of temp. I'd hate to rush people or feel rushed.

Somehow in my QT ... I realised I realised... God wants me to learn that it is Him who is in control. After so many years, he is still trying to still this restless heart. It touched me that, he's willing to even be here to remind me of who He is in every little thing I go through, to teach me what it means to walk as His child. :)

And indeed, He showed up for me, once again (: I just want to record this little episode here (:

How can I not praise and thank Him? What a tender tender love (:

2011-11-28T15:18:00.001+02:00

Going on long leave next week and I'm unprepared...don't know if i could finish clearing some important work before I go off. I really pray that God take care of the responsibilities He entrusted in my hands, because ultimately I need to be responsible & answerable to Him. So once again its a reliance on Him to please Him.

I've learnt, seek first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be granted to you as well. He has proven Himself faithful. And so He will continue to be.

And I am unprepared. But well, by His grace and only by His grace, I will be a blessing.

Thanksgiving thanksgiving

2011-11-27T15:51:00.002+02:00

Somehow things flowed and place this together as the take-away gifts presented to our guests (:

Initially wanted the frame to be the card for which guests could write their reflections on. Then it changed to us sticking the photos for them... with sweets and gospel tracks wrapped in (: I enjoyed that night packing up this little gift serving alongside Tina and Jon (: On hindsight, perhaps we ourselves should have taken a photo to remember this night. But then again, this photo without our faces encapsulates the spirit of what touched me better (: This is a joy truly in quiet service (:

God sent a kind word of encouragement to us. Joanna went to me and thanked us for facilitating this event. More importantly, she said... " u know... my friend mentions she wonders... why would people put in so much effort/detail to do this gift... "

Because...every little detail... is put together... in His love for you.

I'm really thankful to Zhenglin(who is so early!), shu ying, kay, li nah, and many many others ... for putting up the deco in their creative manner with the materials we provided. I am thankful that, when I looked at it, I felt that... I think I'm answerable to God for this section. Hee.

I'm touched... by many many many things... ahh... perhaps the little regret, is that we weren't able to hear out the sharings. Though I'm sure it went well, I wish I could be there to hear and be blessed by the thanksgivings shared (:

In This Celebration

2011-11-27T14:53:00.001+02:00

There is an overwhelming
of happiness surging
in this
celebrating of
the union of two hearts
meeting in love
that's what will overcometh
every little and great
differences

There is an overwhelming
of happiness surging in this
celebrating of
the union of two hearts
meeting in love
that's what will overcometh

Together forever
I believe its not a dream
Marriage is a union
of two great forgivers

Together forever
live a life of love
just as Christ love us

There is an overwhelming
of happiness surging in this
celebrating of
the union of two hearts
meeting in love
that's what will overcometh

Together forever

I believe its not a dream

Beyond all those things

we will put on love

and let this love bind us

in unity

sees us through

till the very end

Together forever
I believe its not a dream
Marriage is a union
of two great forgivers

Together forever
live a life of love
just as Christ love us

There is an overwhelming
of happiness in this
celebrating of
the union of two hearts
meeting in love
that's what will overcometh

every little and great
differences

da da da da da da dum
da da da da da dun
~ (wedding march, in retard) tum tum tum tum tum tum tum tum tum tum

2011-11-27T14:05:00.000+02:00

WOW. I don't know how I survived this week, but i am in tearful gratitude haha. Ya serious. During worship in cell, tears just flowed... a little hard to control...

I'm like... eh what is this?
God remained super silent. Guess He chooses to continue to reveal that tender love for me in those tears today.

And He has been faithful to put together today's gathering as well. He's really really... so faithful!

2011-11-23T16:49:00.004+02:00

dear dear Jesus...

two years ago, i wanted to be. I wasn't.
two years later, i didn't want to be. I was made one.

you really know how to teach me dependence, O Lord... I better pray every day!!!

I can't believe thanksgiving is tomorrow.

I thank God. His joy. is with me in this mad rush of two deadlines, two weddings, and one big thanksgiving.

2011-11-22T16:17:00.000+02:00

we were talking about MBTI scores the other day. I highly suspect i'm a ISFP. haha.

2011-11-21T11:23:00.000+02:00

felicia is very very stressed again becos she is so slowwww....

but well... i just want to say one thing. My work emails often make me laugh.

've Been Missing You

2011-11-20T13:01:00.004+02:00

who would have known?
who would have thought?
You are what's missing
deep in this heart?

who would have understood?
no one, no one seeks You.

I chase after everything under the sun
the knowledge, the pleasures, the riches, the dreams,
I'm trying to build, the place I belong
a place where I call home...

I try to be everything good in my strength
I try to hide from the world those darkest fears
I'm trying to find, who I am...
Who am I apart from You?

who would have known,
who would have thought,
You are what's missing
deep in this heart?

who would have understood?
no one, no one seeks you.
You called me by name,
and led me to You.

I've chased after everything under the sun,
the knowledge, the pleasures, the riches, the dreams,
But there I can't find, where I belong
I belong I belong to You

I tried to be everything good in my strength,
when you are the only good that I could boast
I finally understand now who I am
Who am I apart from You?

who would have known
who would have thought
You are who's been missing
deep in this heart

Jesus, My Ever Song.

2011-11-20T10:47:00.003+02:00

I'm reading the first chapter of this book, "Singing Through the Night." Its a book about courageous stories of faith from women in the persecuted church. Its interesting that the theme of this book is about how songs and singing are really that source of strength through the life of persecution. "Our spirits are like flowers, and song is the sun. Just as flowers only open when the sun shines, so our spirit only blossoms when we sing." And this is coming from people who are forbidden to sing to the Lord. How sad. It is such a blessing to be able to worship in freedom.

Hearing about how fellow believers in other nations cling on to the way of the cross gives me another outlook on the quote, "Missions exist because worship doesn't." What could allow one to cling on to a faith which makes the whole world turn its tables against you, but a faith that have experienced that deep fellowship, close communion and sweet intimacy with Christ? This relationship enjoyed with God in joyful worship. The privilege to worship, is precious beyond all the seeming comfort the world can bring.

What if I lived this life , and end this life, not having known Jesus? Pondering upon this thought, I felt that the worst thing about that isn't the fact that I'd be spending eternity in hell. The worst thing about that, is really, that I missed out on God, that I could not meet and know something so sacredly beautiful. Therefore, I'm treasuring this relationship above everything else, because I know I could not meet another thing more beautiful than this.

And unlike the temporal nature of worldly joys, this joy that the world could not give, the world could not take away. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)

Praise the Lord, O my Soul,
I will rejoice!

Obedience

2011-11-19T05:23:00.000+02:00

The only real contribution we can give to the great commission, is obedience.

The best practice of stewardship, is obedience.

Just dwelling a bit on the two quotes above.

How do I obey if I don't hear Him? How do we hear Him if we never bother to hear Him speak through His word? Or cloud out His voice by immersing myself in everything, in ministry even, but Him.

The secret of following God's will usually is wrapped up in rejecting the good for God's best.

2011-11-19T05:04:00.002+02:00

There's a wedding invite on the 7th. & another wedding invite on the 14th. Good thing its in January. Whee. I still owe people PL Schedule Swops and I dunno how.

I hope I sound ok by now. Do I? Its been 2 weeks :S

Was encouraged yesterday by this brother who sent in his sharing. I didn't chase, i mean remind him (too tiring for me seriously) ... emailed him rather late after my call (due to my mailing complications) , but he sent in by the crazy deadline I set with much thoughts put into it (:

Thank God for the providence. For the heart and willingness to serve. & another life that testifies God's goodness. His love is real. When you meet Him. you know.

and we will sing

2011-11-17T16:43:00.000+02:00

Lord, send out
Send us out into Your battle
this dying world
is in need of a savior
reach us in mercy

Lord, rise up
A generation who would
praise Your name
Let the nations
rejoice in Your gladness
meet us in glory

Sing Hallelujah ( Sing Hallelujah)
Sing Hallelujah (Sing Hallelujah)
Hallelujah
and we will sing (and we will sing)

Sing Hallelujah (Sing Hallelujah)
Sing Hallelujah (Sing Hallelujah)
Hallelujah
to the Lord of heaven and earth

Lord, raise up
medley of praises
in every tribe and tongue
and we will sing (and we will sing)
and we will sing (yes we will sing)

Thank You, Once Again.

2011-11-17T16:28:00.003+02:00

Was randomly scrolling through my old pictures. I liked this one a lot. Its a little fulfillment of a childhood dream.

Twirling round the carousel of fond memories , I recall a life with so much evidences of God's goodness and love. Through the ups-and-downs, I've bumped around, yet I'm really so safely tucked in grace. I want to say: God, You are awesome beyond words.

and love makes the world go round and round (and round)
to the pot of gold, at the end of the rainbow

2011-11-17T16:14:00.002+02:00

Meeting with Min Li reminds me of a wonderful project group that I had. It really felt like a little final year present from the Lord, I am so totally thankful!

What is Your Passion?

2011-11-15T16:14:00.001+02:00

"Man look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7

I was wondering what's the difference between Saul and David. Why was the former rejected as King, while the latter called by God as man after God's own heart?

One word. Passion.

Am I passionate about the things God is passionate about? Am I passionate about everything that He is? Am I passionate for You, my Lord, grow me in your passion, and lead me to the cross.

Owning and Owing and Oohing

2011-11-13T15:44:00.002+02:00

Someone asked me about my experience on... budgeting of my expenses. Eh... HA OH DEAR.. can't say I'm keeping track of my expenses :S

There is one word I should not forget though. Stewardship.

I own nothing. Many times the puff up pride holds on to the dear things with such strings :P But what do I have that is not from Him? If only I could just let go and see the fact that these belonged to Him, entrusted into my care by His grace. What could I do to make the most of what He gives?

I owe Him everything. Well, I owe my redeemer my life and I am glad. For without His ransom paid... where would I be :S In practicality I may be owing lots of debts but ultimately I owe only to the giver of all good things :) Strangely I pray to God as if He owes me something ... ahaha. But His tender mercies are just sweet. There was a time long b4 while i was still studying I was telling God... " argh... God, I seem to have so many so many so many debts.... how?" ....

Didnt I already paid for you your greatest debt? -> implying why would He not take care of my little financial woes? And yes, He have paid for the greatest debt, a debt of sin I could never pay off, He paid with the life of His son.

Covet not, for I have everything I need in Christ Jesus.

That's When

2011-11-13T15:23:00.002+02:00

When we have a work to do
And the task ahead seems bigger
Than you
That's when He steps in
When you know in your heart that
God's command
Takes more than can be done by man
That's when He steps in
He sees you at the point of your need
He sees you at the point of crossing your
Red Sea
In the moment you call
When you've given your all
He steps in, He steps in
And He'll say

What's that you have in your hand
I can use it, if you're willing to lose it
Take the little you have and
Make it grand
I am El Shaddai and I'll more than
Supply your need

When all you have is oil in a jar
That's a reflection of where you are
That's when He steps in
A little boy's lunch of fish and bread
Is all you have for the need ahead
That's when He steps in

Let Him take it and bless it and
Break it and give it
He'll multiply it in the moment you live it
And in the moment you call
When you've given your all
He steps in, He steps in
And He'll say

2011-11-13T14:28:00.002+02:00

oh yayy i recovered my hotmail! But... I have not recovered my cough :S

2011-11-09T13:50:00.003+02:00

err my hotmail is blocked! Errr... well.. hmm... if it doesn't recover by tmr i'll have to get another email. Problematic leh.

feels horrible. sigh. don't overestimate urself :)

Let the earth rejoice! Let the nations be glad! (:

2011-11-05T06:03:00.002+02:00

Rise up a generation that brings You Praise!

2011-11-01T16:42:00.001+02:00

I'll do the asking, You'll do the inviting ;)

Thank You, Lord

2011-10-31T17:38:00.004+02:00

感謝主，因我所遇的試煉，使我生命更加成熟，當祢引領我。
感謝主，試煉賦予我忍耐，在那成長的日子裏，讓我去關懷。
但事實總背逆我意願，難以放棄自我主權，好讓祢聖靈完全充滿引導我。
因當試煉來臨，我軟弱本性要我遵從它，而使我輕易忽略神細聲細語。
感謝主，每當我歷經試煉，你必幫助引導保護，免我走錯路。
因祢曾應許，每當我心受考驗，祢必為我預備出路，減輕我痛苦。
感謝主，在那得勝的成長裏，在那全然的交托中，生命有意義。
我要感謝主當一切事各按其所，你面容就向我顯現，慈聲召我進前。

Thank You, Lord for the trials that come my way
In that way I can grow each day as I let You lead.
And thank You, Lord for the patience those trials bring,
In that process of growing I can learn to care.
But it goes against the way I am to put my human nature down, and let the Spirit take control of all I do.
Cause when those trials come, my human nature shouts the thing to do; and Gods soft prompting can be easily ignored.
I thank You, Lord with each trial I feel inside,
That Youre there to help lead and guide me away from wrong.
Cause You promised Lord, that with evry testing
That Your way of escaping is easier to bear,
I thank You, Lord for the victry that growing brings,
in surrender of evrything life is so worthwhile,
And I thank You, Lord that when evrythings put in place, out in front I can see Your face - and its there You belong

Whoa I thought the Chinese translation was cool. But the English one has a deeper human touch to this song. Can feel the struggle... it just goes against the grain to put my human nature down and let the spirit take control, yet James 1:2-4 say

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

When trial is defined as not just difficulties, but as every instance of choosing between a way which falls into the trap of Sin and staying apart, we do seem to be facing trial almost every second. So it would mean every instance we are to consider it pure joy. So we have every reason to be joyful every moment wahaha

Do you understand? Not really right. :)

its not easy, but it shouldn't be too difficult either. Nothing's too difficult when you're in love.

2011-10-29T06:27:00.000+03:00

i was looking at that quote.

"i cannot boast about my love for God because I fail him everyday. But I can boast about His love for me because His love never fails. "

yea. true.

what's good, what's right, what's true

2011-10-29T06:22:00.000+03:00

tell me Lord, again, what's good
when injustice rules
in shades and shades and shades of grey
will You be understood

tell me Lord, again, what's right
in Your eyes and not mine
in lines that define the indefinite
will I see my wrong in You

tell me Lord,again, what's true
what's precious, what's beautiful
in every creation and design
let praise be drawn to You

tell me Lord again, what's true
who could be more precious than You
when my love for You fails everyday
I find myself in grace

tell me, Lord, again, what's good
what resonates with my heart's deepest cry
who could be more precious than You
though my love for You fails everyday
in Your unfailing love I give praise.

2011-10-29T06:14:00.001+03:00

Saturday & not serving ^^ got that there is something i need to work on :S Not that I mind lah but well... need prayers :)

And Friday was interesting. Last minute shu msged me about Zeke's worship session. HAHA seriously what's that?? Actually prefer to sleep at home but well, erm, when your disciple tells you there's no one else she knows going, you will say, Ok we go together. And I know Zeke :D Heard of his legendary boss? I didn't use the word legendary, yk used it. But i like her description. Yea so well... they have this friend they know ya thru work and so he owns this design house and always wanted to use that place for a worship event so well. Its called "workplace worship session". Ya. Anyways i want to say, it was rather inspiring. Guess the place itself is really full of 'design.' And ha the guy doing parts was awesome. Everything put together, the music, the design of the place, and most of all the intentions of these people to put something tgr to give glory to God, its inspiring. Hee.

Thursday. Met in-charges of rfkc.

Wednesday. Yea. We'll suppose to meet to hear the plans Jon dreamed. And ohh he really had a strange dream. hahah... anyways will think about this later.

Tuesday. Praislight dinner gathering. Thank God for trust-ty chauffeurs.

Monday. Cannot remember.

Thankful

2011-10-26T17:31:00.001+03:00

Somedays we forget

To look around us

Somedays we can't see

The joy that surrounds us

So caught up inside ourselves

We take when we should give.

So for tonight we pray for

What we know can be.

And on this day we hope for

What we still can't see.

It's up to us to be the change

And even though we all can still do more

There's so much to be thankful for.

Look beyond ourselves

There's so much sorrow

It's way too late to say

I'll cry tomorrow

Each of us must find our truth

It's so long overdue

Even with our differences

There is a place we're all connected

Each of us can find each other's light

Was searching for 'thankful songs' haha. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuQDPHneFm4

2011-10-26T14:51:00.002+03:00

Maybe there used to be more strife to want to see things work and to see myself being 'able' to do something. Or maybe its just the human inclination that doesn't know how to rely on a strength you cannot see. Now i'm bit too tired. Let God take charge. . Just dun forget to work on it :)
I am thankful for the priviledge to avail myself for His service. I don't know what I can do, but I believe there is no limit to what God can do thru me. And it is exciting to feel ... His heartbeat. :) A God who cannot be served is a God only to be enjoyed.

I just want to do Your will. Nothing more nothing less. This is my prayer.

2011-10-24T15:34:00.004+03:00

We spotted a soft toy of the character in picture while waiting for rach outside this photo shop. And well ...

Pat : "Wah that toy is so cute! Whats the name of the character ah... "

Me: "eh..."

Pat:" Is it square pants?"

Me "ah ya! Spongebob Square pants... so he's square pants. oh u like spongebob square pants one ah? "

Pat: " No lah.. just this soft toy very cute."

*After some time*

Me: " Wait, there's something called patrick right?"

Pat: "Oh ya... he's called patrick !!!"

EH both of us: "how can we think he's called square pants hahaha... "

It dawned on us that 'spongebob squarepants' is one entity. To think we could actually think that square pants was the name of spongebob's friend. LOL.

两个没有童年的人。

random thoughts about suicide

2011-10-23T17:14:00.005+03:00

God is sovereign. Over life... over death. We can't choose about birth. Though, in human's freewill & choice, one can choose to end his life in his or her hands, suicide.. is one ultimate sin. In taking death into your own hands, it is a total expression of the rejection of God and the refusal to submit.

One simply does not have the authority to take the matter of death in his own hands.

Its hateful actually, that people try to 'argue' their way out. "Surely God will forgive those who, are trying to stay faithful, but who stumbled in their walk and chose this path in a 'moment of weakness'? I think understand why people would prefer to take that side of the argument. I guessed it gives us more room for failing to obey, and we try to tell ourselves God is a God of grace. Don't you see, we actually have all the room in God's grace for failure in this life, so much that, there is no need, there is no need at all, to choose the path of suicide. If we truly believe in a God that will make a way, we can hold out in hope.

Its hateful because, rather than condoning it and allowing it to happen... look sin full in its eye and reject it.

I believe no one in his or her right frame of mind will go against their in-built survival instinct to choose death. A pastor said that behind every soul that contemplates suicide, are several demons. (At least, that was what he experienced) I believe so. We're in a war, not physical.

Let's fight them. His name, speaks victory. His perfect love, cast out all fears.

I remember this quote which i read from haha... my higher chinese comprehension passage... 人总有一死，死有轻于鸿毛，也有重于泰山。 Something like that lah...
Remember the way our saviour's life ended. In obedience, and in sacrifice. Let's not be-little life. Your life is so precious, that He'd choose to give His away, in exchange for yours.

2011-10-22T16:25:00.002+03:00

Ohh you know. Yet another couple emerged in the circle of friends. Cool. Surprised? No not at all for this pair haha :D Its kind of a hunch already though I won't dare to anyhow suspect till someone confirm with me :) I think I'm getting smarter? hee.

its good that your friends marry each other. Then can cut down on weddings to attend haha.

*
I thought God really did answer my prayer for October. Knowing that its a busy busy month I prayed that I won't be so distracted by erm... other things, and that I'd yoke in His rest. I'm learning, I guess, to rely on God. Remember, apart from Him I can do nothing.

The scary thing is, its ending... Its so scary when time flies and i wondered ...err what happened over the past month ah? :S

So happy life is not meant to walk through by oneself, but we're made to know the richness of His love. For those who love, time is eternity.

*
Learning also, about prayer. 'Plead for forgiveness'.

We've met His mercy, through no merit of our own we've received this pardon. And what we can do and should do, is to plead on behalf, for those who are under His wrath, that His hand of mercy be extended to them.

I wanna say thank You (:

2011-10-22T05:39:00.005+03:00

Hee I honestly thought the original draft had a certain 'feel' to it that went missing when colors were added then became bit more funky...anyways... here's what we kinda produced admist the mad rush of work n with simple ppt ah ha .. and let's pray (: May God use all that we place in His hands for His glory, and may He multiply the little five loaves and two fishes we have :) May He bless and enable this ministry to reach out for Him :) I thank God, that every single day, I have every reason, to say. Thank You.

2011-10-20T16:41:00.002+03:00

Father, have mercy. Let this be a rude awakening. In the midst of this unspeakable grief, what we desperately need, what they desperately need, is hope.

Beyond the reproach, condemnation and defense, would there be repentance? You said, to 'repent and believe, for the Kingdom of God is at hand.' Though the kingdom of God feels so far... we could believe, Father, that You have the ability to overturn nations.

Wake us up, Father, wake up our fellowmen, bring a miracle.

2011-10-18T18:34:00.000+03:00

Along this road, its a blessing to meet a character as such. Interesting, unique, and rather inspiring.

God's every creation is unique in his or her own way.

2011-10-17T19:31:00.000+03:00

ohh one more thing. I did, finally, spot the person i was trying to spot. hmmm. I think it was. Ha.

Hahahaah. Just for fun and curiosity.

So well, it does give another reason/motivation reason to pray.

"If you want to make your workplace your place of ministry, then you have to pray."

oh yea.

2011-10-17T17:22:00.001+03:00

Ohhh...I received the MOS Excel Certification :D So yea I am MS Excel Certified is it *clap clap*

It looks more like a magazine print out than a cert though.

2011-10-13T17:25:00.001+03:00

Joseph speaks his famous words in Genesis 50:20.

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."

He is quite an inspiration indeed. Talk about forgiveness. Whoa. You know what his brothers did to him? They cheated him and sold him away as a slave. They nearly wanted to kill him.

He saw God's agenda. And He place God's agenda, above everything else. The sufferings, the accusations, the years of waiting in prisons, were considered worth while, because God made it so.

its more fun really, to see, that life is about God and His work. What matters to us... pales so much in comparison in terms of excitement. hee. its simply because this life was never meant to be about us. So let what's supposed to be centered be centered.

And I pray that He'll open my eyes, to see what's on His heart.

2011-10-13T16:56:00.002+03:00

Released
into Your hands
I will trust
in Your strength

Released
all anxieties
I will cast upon You
my cares

Be still
I will be still
I know. You are God

God, be God
be glorified
let your servant bring You praise

God, be God
be magnified
You are awesome in this place

Released
from the chains of sin
by this truth that
sets me free

I Love You Jesus

2011-10-11T16:45:00.000+03:00

Thank You Lord. Once again.

So determined, to make it a habit, to abide in You. To make life an adventure, of trusting in Your awesomeness.

You are awesome in this place
Mighty God
You are awesome in this place
Abba Father
You are worthy of all praise
to You our lives we raise
You are awesome in this place
Mighty God.

Sunday

2011-10-09T16:59:00.004+03:00

Pat : " feli 刚才很好笑. i ask her if she need help with her guitar. She say, '不用不用，我有shoulder.' 好像我没有！"
Rach: "ahahaha, that sounds like something feli would say. "
hahahhaha I was right beside them. And hearing pat repeating my line, I do think I sounded quite funny. Seriously.

Then happen Royce say we seem to be very engrossed in our conversation. None of us saw him waving from the coffeeshop.

Pat: "We were happily laughing at the realisation that feli has two shoulders." LOL. (Not that i like to keep quoting her in my blog... but this friend is really quite funny. I will forever remember she gave me two, no one... arrow. 我只是拔出来再放进去而已。ok that's another story. )

Anyway, I was being very sincere in saying that I can manage ...Then ya loh. I wasn't trying to be funny.

Actually this is already not as bad as ... another joke which i found myself associated with alcohol. I wasn't totally wasn't trying to be funny. Dunno why this joke became so spread-ed and so remembered.

Interestingly, i met two guys from reachlight at the bus-stop on my way home. Always seen this Su wen (think its spelled like that?) around here and there but nvr formally introduced ourselves to each other. It seems that it has taken some time b4 i realised that they were there. So when i happen to look over i was really in shock.

No wonder their first question was... "what songs are u listening to?"

Sorry. Actually was just really pressing on the right arrow to fwd to the next song until i got quite bored. So well, seems like God sent some company.

2011-10-08T15:05:00.001+03:00

Its October. So tired and so thankful.

I want to have a rested heart. If restedness means abiding in Him, then all the more I need to spend time with Him through the word in the midst of this busyness.

My time is in Your hands. Not that it was really mine in the first place.

2011-10-06T16:30:00.002+03:00

A sensation. And a reality.

All man face death.

I probably can never see myself doing anything big. But I pray that, by His grace, I can live a life that makes a difference for Him.

Its really a blessing lord... to know you. nothing else matters more...

2011-10-04T18:17:00.002+03:00

Back from thanksgiving meet 1. The venue is exciting !!! We were given 2 choices. Initally the idea of roof top already sounds much more romantic. And it really is. Love that ambience, the wooden platform, whoa...great setting :D thank God and praise God!

Interestingly the only other TL member (other than chin ai ) is jon tan. Its like preface... missing anton! hee. I do find it a blessing actually to get to hear from jon his life... it's really a testimony of God's grace and goodness. God is good :D

And never knew there's a cafe at YMCA. Cool. Seems a good place... to conduct bible study. Its quiet... a rare find in central sg.

good place to meet janice. I must say I'm v reminded of her. Hahahahahaha really don't know where to look when i was asked .. "so who did u guess?"

i'm a terrible friend. I keep propagating her love story. interesting mah. that's what friends are for ;)

thoughts on a quote

2011-10-03T15:30:00.002+03:00

Missions exist because worship doesn't. - John Piper.

(oOo I love John Piper. His quotes are like chunks of steel. Hard to digest... but when u slowly chew on it... it makes sense).

And looking at that quote. What is missions? Hmmm...missions is... to establish worship.

Yes it is about salvation. It is about saving humanity from its path of self-destruction in its sin. While we were objects of wrath, destined for destruction, missions exist to break the chains of sin with the gospel of truth and the gospel of hope. And it exists to save us from eternal condemnation. If heaven is this real to me, I am convinced, that hell exist.

Yes it is about redemption. It is about bringing us back to enjoy the relationship with God which we initially were created for ya? Missions exist to restore back the brokenness to the way things were in the garden of Eden, when man and God were enjoying close intimacy. I lived 18 years of my life separated from God. And now that I found God, or rather God's grace found me, I am on this redemptive journey of being formed into His likeness. What a privilege! Now I am His, and He is mine, I'm bought with the precious blood of Christ.

But ultimately, missions is about establishing worship. "For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen" ~ Romans 11:36.

He created us to give Him glory. He created us to worship Him. And missions is about bringing back that worship for which creation was intended for. And really, only when God is God in your life can your heart truly find peace.

If God is just a best buddy, you can only go that far. If God is just a loving father, you can only go that far. I mean, your view of God would be so restricted.

God is God. Supreme magnificence. But He is often belittled. Far too belittled in our foolish finite hearts and minds. He is yesterday, today and forever. We are... just little lives that go by. In the span of eternity... that really doesn't count much... Just that we behave and act as if we are something really great. Heh.

And then we worship a God that is defined by 'our terms'. That is idolatry. God hates it. We all want to be understood and respected. So does God. (And how could anyone dare to not respect God? hmmm...) Worship God for who He is, and not fall into the trap of defining your own idea of who God is... That is sin, because it is a rejection of God. And the reason why we prefer to worship our own idea of God, I think it is because we refuse to submit to His authority. So we much rather define our own rules and submit to a God we 'created'. O yea. How smart. As if we would win God by doing that... (ok so pray that the love and goodness of God will captivate our hearts so that we'll willingly submit... :))

So missions is about establishing a worship that brings people to see God for who He is. It is about bringing people to place God as God in their hearts. Picturing building a temple in a heart. Whoa ...there would be so much work to be done. From clearing off the cobwebs to knocking in foundation pillars. So I'm saying, it is definitely not a work done by human hands. It is a work that can only be done through the spirit. Not by might, not by power, but by my spirit, He says.

Oh ok. So Father then how can I establish worship in the hearts of people?

I can only do that when God is God in my heart and every area of my life is surrendered to Him.

God be praised! (:

to build an altar, to build an altar,
this is the goal of my life....
to see His glory shown, to make His name known
to build an altar in my heart.

Why did God choose Isreal?

2011-10-02T16:37:00.002+03:00

http://focusonjerusalem.com/whydidgodchooseisrael.html

I thought this link was very well-written. I find the OT rather hard to understand, and was just wondering why did God choose Israel. Glad to find this... explains many things.

And makes me thankful, that, in choosing Isreal, He did not abandon humanity in its sin. Thank God! (:

And I realised that I have to pray for Isreal. If I love God, I should love Isreal. And I should bless Isreal.

Just as God chose Isreal, Satan chose Isreal as well. I watched only a little on this movie that portray a bit on the persecutions of the Jews during the Nazis period and already I cannot stand it. didn't finish the show. I was thinking...in that situation...its really very difficult to hold on to this belief that there is a God ...

I cannot imagine the real thing. Or the years of unrest this little nation is facing everyday...

God bless Isreal.

Going home

2011-10-02T16:25:00.000+03:00

Where I am I am really blessed. I see God's blessings in many ways.

I still struggle with confidence issues. (been struggling with that my whole life leh) Hmmm.. which should make me more thankful for where I am.

I thought this perspective from Andrew Murray was very encouraging:

1. He brought me here. It's by His will I am in this straight place. In that fact I will rest.
2. He will keep me here in His love and give me grace to behave as His child.
3. Then He will make the trail a blessing, teaching me lessons He intends for me to learn.
4. In His good time, He will bring me out again, how and when He knows. So let me say: I am (a) Here by God's appointment. (b)In His keeping. (c) Under His training. (d) For His time.

COol rite?

Sometimes I am strangely eager to know the next step I should be taking... don't know for what.. its good to plan ahead and our vision shouldn't be too narrow... but ... the wonder comes more out of curiosity + insecurity.

Life is like...a train ride. It takes us to different destinations at different stages of our lives. And at every stop, let's enjoy every sight & scenery with Him (: (: (:

And this train's final destination is... Home.

this grace that brought me safe thus far,
and grace will lead me home.

Someday my prince will come

2011-09-28T16:42:00.001+03:00

*I believe I believe
Someday my prince will come
for me
O how glorious, it will be,
when finally,
Him, I see. *

O how did it really all begin?
my heart has met this prince of peace
Compassion, mercy, truth and justice,
hope has found its meaning
in who He is
He's all that I've been searching
I'm so in love
with Him

It was on that day of cavalry,
when love has given all it could give...
and from the dungeons He has freed me
life has breathed its living
in the love He gives
He's all that I've been longing
I'm so in love with Him.

He's all that I am waiting
I'm so in love with Him.

2011-09-27T18:44:00.000+03:00

counting on You! thank You! (:

Blessed company

2011-09-26T16:53:00.000+03:00

Indeed it was. Thank God again. (:

2011-09-23T11:27:00.000+03:00

not to sound emo, but this is really a time i'd rather not meet anyone or go anywhere ... practically its troublesome ya... as if i can ... eat...

its so going to be a blessed getaway (: thank God! (:

2011-09-21T16:40:00.001+03:00

It is in desperation,
that I find,
You,
You satisfy.
Hear my plea, my cry,
my longing,
my desire,
these fears and insecurities
I can no longer deny.
Captivate me Lord,
with Your love.
You
You satisfy.
In Your light,
Your glorious light,
Nothing compares,
nothing could.
You.
You Satisfy.

It is in this brokenness,
that I long,
not for my foolish will,
but Your true restoration,
Your will be done,
in me.
You,
You satisfy.

2011-09-21T16:11:00.001+03:00

Chin Ai says I do look a little swollen. How I really think I look odddd too. Ayeeee.

Its going to take some time for things with this to really get settled. I pray that He'd restore my smile. I know He will (:

Dear Jesus, thank You, for being my reason to keep smiling. (: Somehow it is in such times that I could really just sit with Him and look towards Him with a certain indescribable love and gratitude for Him. Seriously what would I do without You?

And then i'd fall asleeeppp...

okkk i think i rested enough.. pls start doing somethingggs

You hold me now

2011-09-19T15:33:00.005+03:00

I've been wanting to blog about this song :)

I really don't know how to describe how this song ministered to me at a really trying time. When I must have been in pain. Because all I remembered was that I was crying myself to sleep listening to this song for many nights, feeling God's embrace around me.... with lyrics that goes...

"No weeping, no hurt or pain
No suffering, no sick or lame
You hold me now...."

When you're limping and in pain and crying, the lyrics soothes so dearly. And the song was really God-sent, I so happened to be passed this rather new CD from hillsongs just before I fell and fractured my foot. Sigh I am really horribly clumsy and a little fragile :S Its rather embarrassing actually, to talk about it ...

I can't remember the pain now. This fall wasn't really so traumatic cos there wasn't so much blood. But yet again I saw how the hope of heaven held me. Heaven isn't some escape we are looking to. Heaven is having Jesus in the fullness of His glory, and therefore I can't wait to see Him! Knowing and experiencing His goodness right here right now, heaven is... so real because He is so so good.

(to think of it, when i was a young christian i was struggling to see eternity, i told God I could not because I am a very practical person, i want to see that eternal perspective being preached about but its so hard, and maybe i prayed that He would help me to see it. God answers prayers! haha. No I'm glad, because nothing is more important than being satisfied in Him... and I'm still growing to really really see that Him and Him alone satisfies)

O o ooO painnnn...

2011-09-19T14:33:00.005+03:00

I think the dentist gave me at least 6 jabs at the start leh. Every jab pokes 'ouch'.

Quite funny lah... i think the anesthesia wore off quite fast, so i was starting to whine. He asked me if i'm ok. Ya I am. I just whined a bit more... Then he asked me if its painful... i said "yessss, a bit".

"But I've given you a lot of jabs already. "

Ya I know. So I said nvm, its just a bit. And at that time it was really a bit. But a bit for very long kind of adds up.

Then so er... I seem to have heard him say... "don't bite on my finger!"

Opps!!! Sorrry...

yea so he gave me a few more jabs here and there. Because I needed it.

...

I thought I could just sleep. But hello! Its a surgery, not a spa. (it costs so much more than a spa aha)

Seems like my bone condition is actually really very problematic, would totally appreciate and need prayers. why??? how come I can knock until like that then? Eh I dunno ... they termed it loss of tooth due to 'trauma'. It really was quite traumatic.

through it all I thank God! How can I not? Thank God for being there, for sending people who cares, for an assurance that no one else can give. I am in His hands (:

thank you really for those who've prayed & encouraged, so touched (: Glad to see my parents remembered and prepared porridge for dinner (:

when I myself am really bit 'bo chap'. :S just dont want to think about it.

then well ..er... one more thing to rant here. i think it seriously looks odd... there's a loss of symmetry... maybe its not so obvious but its rather obvious to me. :(

2011-09-18T13:57:00.002+03:00

didnt spot the person i was trying to spot! argh... will try open my eyes bigger again haha.

interesting small world we live in :D

trust and obey

2011-09-18T13:09:00.001+03:00

Increase my love for You I pray
let me fix my eyes on Your glory always
help me to trust and obey
for I believe, there's no other way

Set my heart on who You are
I'd follow You, all of Your ways
teach me to do Your will today
to trust and obey

Come into my heart
I want to be
more like You
more of You
less of me

Let Your light shine through this life
reflect in me, Your beauty and love
unveil Your glory in this heart
I will trust and obey

2011-09-15T17:56:00.000+03:00

I received Eugene's wedding invitation today! Hahaha how nice! (: Too bad I can't be there physically to share that moment of joy. Even if I have wings, I don't think I can fly there. Will need to teleport hah :D But I'll be there in spirit (:

In the short time that I spent with Eugene, I remember that she talked so so much about her boyfriend I feel as if I knew that guy quite well. Hee she's so adorable. And I suppose that's the way it should be! So blissful ^^

Praise God for the joy all around! It's rather amazing, and a little scary how time flies...

2011-09-13T16:05:00.004+03:00

Mature me Lord, if that is what it takes to win the world for You. Because before You I know I am free to be Your child. I'm found, forgiven, and free.

Realisation Dawns

2011-09-13T15:58:00.001+03:00

~Realisation dawned
This is not my home
I have a Father wa-i-ting
He's calling me His own

O Why didn't it dawned on me
How much He've forgiven me
O what this forgiveness means
what this forgiveness brings?

Realisation Dawns
What was that folly?
I knew all along
something was wrong
just don't know how
to say
I'm sorry

O Why didn't it dawned on me
How much He've forgiven me
to bear my sins on calvary
to call me His redeemed

Realisation Dawns
the beauty of His glo-ry
I once was blind but now I see
I think I glimpse eternity

~Those who have been forgiven much, loves much (:

She's so beautiful!

2011-09-11T16:12:00.001+03:00

To my dearest cell leader: Thanks Rachel for being the shepherd of this cell and for me, for showering over us with your prayers & love, for putting up with all the nonsense, and for journeying with us in the big & small (: Super glad to witness ya big day!

blessings (:

2011-09-11T15:53:00.000+03:00

met a group of really nice, friendly girls at playmax, and i believe the conversation was blessed! (: Praise God, and I am encouraged really by God's testimony of faithfulness for the 2 believers in the group, and to witness their desire to bring their friends to know Christ. Feeels like its been awhile.

... i thank God for the opportunity to witness for him too, its really been awhile. I told God I'd just avail myself, my time, and may He take that little I can offer to him. And once again He blessed me with a group whose dynamics I can somehow connect ... hopefully i've truly been a blessing. I believe so ya, because God is a mighty God who can use anything and everything that we offer to Him.

blessings to the four lovely girls! (:

2011-09-09T18:15:00.000+03:00

i thank God for placing friends like jas and liqin in my life (: Its a precious companionship that can't be substituted. being a jie mei should be fun! Hoho

Hmmm dunno if i could still 'fly over' to attend justina's wedding. Sometimes I wish I have wings haha.

excited for tmr too, rach wed will really see a big cellulite reunion (: and well.. yep... may God move... in His very special and mighty way.

2011-09-06T16:43:00.002+03:00

ahahhah! God bless the tree-making!

Jesus Be the Center

2011-09-04T14:10:00.001+03:00

Ah this song! I remember the choir at idmc's opening was quite good... there were echoes here and there and I'm lost in worship :)

(eh but i didnt hear it here in the video...dunno what i was hearing...)

Thankful for the opportunity to be there (: Too many things and I can't sort out my thoughts well enough to blog about it.

But I want to remember that Jesus is always at the center :)

from my heart to the heavens, Jesus be the center,
its all about You,
yes its all about You

Word of God Speak

2011-09-04T14:05:00.001+03:00

I remember one day I was cutting queue at a food line. And a friend happily commented, " oh, ok loh, if even someone so religious like you can cut queue, then i'll cut also. "

Err... obviously I didn't know how to respond. I probably gave him a "Duh. What?" Look. And I roughly remember telling God, "God, seriously I think I honestly think I'm free to cut queues, why do I ... have to be subjected to such judgement? Strange. " And I happily cut my queue. And happily I forgot about it.

And happily, after a couple of days, God showed me this verse from 1 Cor 9:19 :

"Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. "

As you know, Christians always say God speaks to you. This is one of the examples :) It speaks like an arrow shot into my heart. This, my child, is why.

Just suddenly remembered this episode, and it has not got out of my mind, so that's why I'm writing it here. Was really just pondering over the question 'how is God real in my life?'. Hmmm oh, its always fun recalling your little moments with your real and living God :)

Please learn the lessons He taught you well too.

2011-09-03T15:55:00.000+03:00

saturated but satisfied (:

You make my heart wanna sing

2011-08-29T15:33:00.005+03:00

Love this K-drama, Dream High :)

There was this part where the female lead is going to sing in a competition/test which tests on one's ability to portray the feelings of the song and connect the audience with it. And happen that this female lead got all the skills in singing but can't really sing with emotions.

But on that test day, she picked a song that had special memories to her and the male lead. The male lead had a sad background (sobs) and didn't even know when was his birthday.

And so she sang this happy birthday song to the male lead, and she sang her heart out, to that one and only very special audience :) She managed to win in her competition. *Applause* (watch the clip for the overwhelming sweetness)

I'm just reminded that that is what i want to do too, each time I sing in worship. I want to sing for my one and only very special audience ;)